


Ghosting Sorrow

by Fether, noirxshirosk



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-11 06:25:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16470440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fether/pseuds/Fether, https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirxshirosk/pseuds/noirxshirosk
Summary: Keith has amnesia after the crash, and forgets who Shiro is. A year passes, and Keith attends Shiro's wedding... only for his memory to return in full force. How will Keith deal with the aftermath?(THIS IS A FIX-IT AU FIC DURING/AFTER SEASON 8 WITH A FEW ALTERATIONS.)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is an rp between two good friends that HAD speculations about Season 8, only for 8 to run us over laughing maniacally while we were left to pick up the pieces. That said, this is canon DIVERGENT, so a lot of the things that happened in "canon" are going to be different HERE.
> 
> All of this is just ideas from our minds that we were curious in exploring, and wanted to develop further. We sincerely hope you enjoy. <3

His eyes opened for the first time in weeks.

Squinting up at the blue sky that gleamed brightly through the window, Keith raised his hand and pressed his palm to his face, letting out a breath of air in surprise at the bandage that was around his head. Flashes of images scattered through his mind as he let out a soft hiss, doubling over in pain.

A sword slamming against metal, in a continuous motion. Energy blasts. An explosion that split apart Voltron into lions...

And then he was here.

But... where was here? The last thing he remembered was crashing in the Garrison base...

"Keith?" The sound made him snap out of his reverie, and he turned towards the direction he'd heard the voice. Across the room was Shiro, who had been staring out of the window with a forlorn expression. Some had taken turns with watching over Keith, whether that be him, or Krolia... Or even some of the other paladins when they had recovered. Keith was seemingly the last, for obvious reasons. The others had been easy to extract from their lions.

Keith had not been as fortunate as them. But here he was... waking up. Shiro's eyes gleamed with hope and relief, as he stood from his chair, and moved to Keith's bedside. He didn't want to hover, didn't want to step into his space and make him feel overwhelmed, so he stayed a good distance away... But he looked like he wanted to help Keith, seeing him coil in on himself in pain. "Keith, are you okay?"

  
"Hngh." Keith took a moment to recollect himself, breathing in before sitting up and blinking a few times against the sun. He shifted his hand to try to block it, seeing a man that was far too bright to look at.

"... mmm?" The man seemed far too familiar, with white hair and a body that sat far too straight, and his right arm that was metal and floating.

Worry creased over the man’s features, and he moved a little closer, the arm that wasn't all robotic and tech-like pressing against Keith’s head, being very careful with his action. He made sure the bandages were firmly in place, before he looked back to the other. His grey eyes settled over Keith, as he breathed out a soft sigh. "I'm so glad you're awake. How're you feeling...?"

Keith tilted his head at the other, squinting as he tried to figure out what the other meant. He talked to him like he was familiar, but the man wasn’t familiar to him.

"I feel... fuzzy?" He asked in a questioning manner, the best descriptor he knew to use at the moment. Keith pressed his lips together at seeing the other's expression, nothing but confusion in his eyes. "... are you the doctor?"

"Fuzzy." He said, not as a question, but as a affirmative statement. Fuzzy was… a description, he guessed. If that was the best way he could describe it, then—

His expression held confusion, shifting from the worry he had moments before — and perhaps a tinge of hurt. "... Doctor? I... Keith. I'm not a doctor. I think I should maybe call one in though... Hang tight." He offered a smile before he moved from the spot, and left the room... rather quickly.

Frowning at his sudden leave, Keith's shoulders dropped as he watched him go, a confusing pang of hurt enveloping him. He didn't understand why this strange, warm feeling was there — he didn't recognize the man, but he felt _familiar_ to him.

Letting out a resigned sigh as he leaned back and closed his eyes, Keith tried to think, only for his head to throb from all the sporadic images trying to filter through. He knew he was the pilot of the Black Lion, but… who had been the pilot before him? Any time he tried to think on it, there was nothing but a blank space there, as if something had cut the image out of his head.

Instead of the man before, a different person walked back into the room. He was a friendly looking man, and wore a white uniform that was crisp and clean, a pocket holding various medical utensils. He stepped up to the bed in a slow manner, and gave Keith a reassuring smile. "We're so glad you woke up, Keith. You were out much longer than the others. Tell me... Do you know the man that was just in this room?"

The instant that the doctor stepped up to his bed, Keith was on the defensive, hunching down in a tense manner. He mulled over the question for a moment, trying to filter through his memories. "... uh… should I?" Keith asked, frowning.

"Well, considering he's Takashi Shirogane, Captain of the Atlas... And from what I've gathered, your older brother? Probably. But it seems as though you have mild amnesia... Do you remember any of the other people in your life?" He asked, watching Keith intently. "It's vital to know, just to be aware of what state you are in, now that you’re awake."

"I don't have a brother." Keith said instantly, tensing up further as he stared. "I remember..." He trailed off, seeing his friends' faces in his mind... but for the life of him, he couldn't remember their names. His green friend. His yellow friend, that surprised him with a hug. The blue friend… who was full of life and promise. The red friend, that got on his nerves…

"I have friends," He said in a hushed voice, closing his eyes and looking away. In all honesty, Keith didn't want to do this. Everything hurt, and despite how much he’d slept, he just wanted to sleep more.

“... Okay. That’s good enough.” The doctor said, offering another very small smile before he stepped away and moved to walk off. “I will have someone inform your friends that you are awake. Please, just try to relax.” The doctor didn’t say much else than that before he disappeared from the room. Once the doctor had left, a nurse came in to take his vitals, which he sat through as patiently as he could, though he fidgeted in a worrisome fashion to try to pass the time.

After his examinations were done, his friends came to visit, but he still couldn't quite place their names, even though he recognized them. They caught him up to the current events he’d missed while he was out, and filled him in on what had happened to them. He was more than happy that they were all okay, and admittedly, all of them were just as glad that Keith was _alive_. They all had woken up, but Keith had been the only one still asleep — and he’d been asleep for quite a little while.

The other man known as Shiro didn’t come back. Not that day, anyway.

  
After that, Shiro came back a few times, a few days after Keith had first woken up. Most of the time, Krolia was with him. Unfortunately for Shiro, Keith just couldn’t recognize him — he didn’t seem to register the man at all.

It broke Shiro’s heart more than it had any right to.

Keith was happy every time Krolia came, often times holding her hand as much as he could, to make up for the times that he couldn’t when he was a child. He already appreciated being close to her, but being in the hospital was making him stir-crazy.

“How long do I have to be here, mom?” Keith glanced to Shiro tilting his head curiously, but he didn’t comment on the man’s presence.

“Not much longer.” She assured him, a light smile on her lips as she watched her son. The bandages on his head had been taken off, but he was kept at the hospital another few days to be watched by the doctors, just to make sure everything was taken care of. He was free to go if there was nothing else that would jog his memory.

Krolia had been the one to suggest him going home, to which Keith was very grateful for.

“You’ll be in here another few hours, according to the doctor.” She continued, her voice soft. “After that, Shiro can drive us home when you’re dismissed.” Reaching out her hand, she smoothed his hair back as she looked over to Shiro, frowning at seeing his eyes cast out the window. It was hard for her to tell what might be going on in his mind.

“Okay.” Leaning into her touch, Keith closed his eyes as he breathed in, then slowly let it out. He appreciated the company, and he found that the longer he remained around these two, the calmer he became.

Even if he didn’t remember Shiro.

Shiro could tell that Keith didn’t remember him still — it had bothered him ever since Keith woke up, but it wasn’t like he could say anything about it. He wasn’t the type of person to say anything anyway — he always kept things like that to himself, mulling over them until he felt he could say the right words.

It just really hurt. Keith remembered Krolia, and everyone else’s faces... but to him, he felt like nothing but empty space.

Talk about soul crushing.

Moving from his spot, Shiro stood up and moved towards the door to take a walk. “I’ll be right back.”

Krolia turned her head around, watching Shiro leave the room with an unreadable expression. Despite what her looks said, she felt bad for him. Keith’s own expression matched his mother’s stoicism, but she could tell in his eyes that he was crestfallen.

“Why does it hurt when he leaves?” He asked softly, making Krolia’s gaze turn to him. Her hand withdrew to rest on his arm instead, squeezing there carefully as her eyes shifted towards the door.

“Your memory is still very hazy, but… he is important to you. And you are important to him. That’s why it hurts so much.” Her voice never wavered from monotone as she spoke, but there was a certain edge to it that he came to know and love. She didn’t want to see her son hurt. Not even emotionally. “It’s only until you remember, Keith. Then everything will make sense again.”

“What if I don’t remember?” Keith asked softly, hunching over and staring at the bed sheets with distaste. His jaw clenched so hard that he felt it crack under the pressure. He grasped her hand and pressed his forehead to it, breathing in deeply as he attempted to calm down. It took him a moment, but he finally cleared his head enough to speak again, drawing in a deep breath. "Love you, mom."

"And I love you." She murmured, leaning towards him to press a kiss to the bangs on his head. She smiled and lifted another hand to cup his face. "You will remember. It might take a while. But I know you'll remember."

"But what if I don't?" Keith asked softly, swallowing as he felt tears at the corners of his eyes. "He keeps leaving. Did I do something wrong?" The way everyone spoke... made him feel like he had done something wrong.

“No, no, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong.” She moved both hands now to cup his face, holding it and cradling it as if it were a fragile piece of glass. “He just wants you to remember, that’s all. He’s worried about you. _Everyone’s_ worried about you. But I know you will remember. You just need time.” Keith's face fell at her words, and he closed his eyes as he rested his head in her hands, gripping the sheets in his hands tightly.

There was nothing more he could think of to say. He didn’t want to have to rely on time. Why couldn’t he just have the memories now and not feel like he disappointed everyone?

Feeling tired once again, Keith let go of her hand and curled up in bed, laying his head against the pillow. Krolia made sure her son rested easy, despite what ailed him. She wanted to take his pain away, not wanting him to hurt every day as he tried so hard to force the memories back. She wasn't sure how many times she told him, but she knows she informed him that it wouldn’t work that way. Of course, he didn't listen. He was a lot like his father, after all.

Once Keith was asleep, Krolia spoke with Shiro, expressing her concerns. It was late one night that they sat up talking, Krolia being open and honest with her feelings.

The heart monitor in the room beeped ever so slowly. It was a steady rhythm that could put Shiro to sleep so easily, easier than anything else could, and he’s tried so many remedies. Nothing was more soothing than sitting next to the one he loved, and listening to his heartbeat.

His only problem was that he didn’t belong here. At least, that’s what it felt like, by the way Krolia watched him from the other side of the room. She’d been keeping a watchful eye over her son, not once letting him out of her sight, other than to go to the bathroom. He was in pain, but he didn’t have to be alone. Even if that’s how he felt.

“You know that the longer you stay around him the more it’s going to hurt him. Don’t you?” Krolia asked him in between the silence that they both sat in, while Keith slept soundly in the bed in front of Shiro, hooked up to wires tracking every inch of him that made him _alive._ Shiro had to be grateful for that alone.

“Of course I know.” Shiro answered, his quiet voice barely registering to Krolia, as Shiro moved his human hand to Keith’s and held it so delicately— as if he was afraid he would break what he held. Everything he touched fell apart, and he so desperately didn't want one of those things to be Keith. But he knew that sitting here was doing exactly that. “But I don’t want him to think I don’t care. Just because he doesn’t remember me… It doesn’t _stop_ what I’m feeling. Or… Whatever he’s feeling, for that matter.”

Krolia watched Shiro with a soft expression, before her posture relaxed, and she stood up to carry her chair over to sit next to Shiro. She looked down at her son, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest, and the peaceful way his face rested as he got his well-needed sleep. “I may not have gotten the chance to know Keith all of his life. But I do know one thing. And that one thing is his love for you. It runs deeper than anything I’ve ever seen in anyone before. Tex and I loved each other— but his love for you is immeasurable. He’d go to the ends of the universe to see to it that you’re safe again.”

“... Well, he practically did.” Shiro pointed out, his hand still carefully held in Keith’s. He found comfort in it, really, and he couldn't help himself to stay rooted. Krolia noted this, as she reached out with her hand, patting Shiro on the back of the uniformed jacket he wore.

“I know he did. I understand why he did, and I can see what he sees in you. But you… Cannot wait around for him, Shiro. You have your own life to live, your own adventures to experience.” She seemed calm explaining this, even as Shiro looked unhappy to hear it.

There was an unmistakable silence after Krolia said that, it obvious that Shiro was really taking her words into consideration, and mulling over what those words mean in the grand scheme of things. “And what if I don’t wait, and he remembers? What if I hurt him? I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I hurt him, Krolia. He’s… He’s just…”

“He’s everything to you?”

Shiro gave a sharp look over to her, at those words, but seeing the understanding look in her eyes had him floored. He couldn't help but to back down from his emotions. “Oh, you have no idea. He’s risked his life time and time again for me. He deserves to be _happy.”_ He went quiet again, before his smaller voice forced itself out. “Do you really think me leaving him alone is what’s best for him? That it could be of any help?”

“I’m saying it’s an idea.” Krolia clarified, as she looked back to Keith. “... You have no idea how much it hurt me to leave Keith and Tex behind. I didn’t want to leave them, I wanted to stay here, to raise Keith with Tex and just… to be happy, with a family I’ve made for myself. But I did it because I needed to protect them. Of course, it’s not exactly the same situation. But in a way, it is. My suggestion to you is to let Keith grow on his own. I don’t know when he’ll get his memories back, no one knows. Not even Allura, who I thought for sure could have done something magically Altean.”

That at least got the smallest breath of air from Shiro, and a very thin laugh that barely seemed like a laugh at all. Krolia took that as a means to continue. “I won’t sit here and talk your ear off. But this memory issue is just going to hurt both of you, the longer it goes on. Neither of you deserve to hurt, especially not you. Not after all you’ve endured to be here. You haven’t gotten much time to enjoy yourself… To enjoy living. And you should take this time to do that. No obligations, just a title that can carry you anywhere you want to go.”

“I don’t know.” Shiro said instantly, as if he was already rejecting the idea of leaving anything — or anyone — behind. “I don’t… mind waiting for Keith. But you have a point. I haven’t gotten much time to explore…” His gaze landed on Keith again, still ever so hesitant.

“Forget about Keith for a moment, Shiro. I’m discussing this to you as one friend to another. You need to focus on yourself, and what you want in life, over anyone else’s wants or needs. I know you love my son, and that you might feel guilt should something happen when Keith’s memories return, but you can’t keep yourself hung up on that thought. _Please_ focus on yourself first. And if Keith can fit into the life you decide to experience, once his memories are back in order, I think that’d be wonderful.”

“... Yeah,” Shiro agreed, after some quiet thoughtful moments passed. “I think you’re right about that.”

He felt awful for not thinking about Keith more, in this instance. Keith lost his memory, any recollection of who anyone was, or what made him _himself._ Shiro couldn’t imagine what that must be like, because even though he’d been replaced multiple times, his memories still remained the same. As Kuron, his past had all still been there, had still been a version of him who wanted to do good but just couldn’t. And much like himself, that paladin had one thing that kept him fighting all this time.

Keith.

“I hope that when Keith gets his memory back… He’ll want to be in whatever life I’ve made for myself. I can’t dream about not having him in my life. He’s the closest thing to family I’ve ever had.”

Krolia seemed to smile fondly when she heard those words from Shiro, and as her hand slid off of his back, her pupils shifted onto that of Keith’s sleeping form. “I’m sure he will, Shiro.”  
  
Shiro looked back to Keith as well, and even though he’d like to keep holding his hand… he decided it’s time he let go. At least, for a little bit. Shiro didn’t like it, but he knew that she was right.    
  
“He loves you.” 


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a beautiful wedding.

The next time Keith saw Shiro was a year later, at his wedding.

It wasn’t _their_ wedding... only Shiro’s. It was a short and simple ceremony, but it was clearly planned with care. And Shiro, well...he was happy, saying 'I do' to a man he claimed to love, and kissing him with enough taste served for the occasion.

He had no idea that this was what triggered Keith. At all.

Keith watched the wedding take place, the kiss shared, his face remaining stoic as he watched Shiro kiss this man he didn't know. His heart raced and slammed against his chest, making his head hurt with a kind of dizziness he didn’t understand. Raising a hand from his crossed arms, Keith pressed it against his head and held it for a few moments, managing to keep it together long enough to stand up... and leave.

Krolia saw him stand up. She waited a few moments, not wanting to bring attention to her son _or_ herself, before she slipped out of her seat and past people to go after Keith. She peered around a corner, just to see if he was still there. "Keith?"

Keith was pressed against the wall, clutching his chest as he sobbed quietly, teeth clenched together so tightly that his _fangs_ showed. His eyes were yellow as he opened them to stare at Krolia, hiccuping as he tried to quell his sobs.

"Oh, honey." She murmured, her voice dipping as she moved behind the wall with him. She stepped over and held her arms out, offering her comfort in a time where she was fairly certain he needed it. "... you remember now, don't you...?"

Moving forward, he hugged her tightly as he sobbed into her chest, his heart sounding like it was _breaking_. Keith didn't need to say anything about how he remembered — it was evident enough in the way he _cried_.

Krolia didn't need to ask again. She just knew. Her heart ached for her child, and while she knew coming to this wedding was an awful idea... she did it as a last resort. Perhaps so that he wouldn't have the pain of not knowing anymore. But this... this was a different _kind_ of pain.

Her hand pressed his face gently against her, smoothing down his long hair that was tied back and done up so nicely. "It's okay, Keith. Everything's okay."

"It _hurts_." Keith hissed, clinging to her as he shook, clenching his eyes shut. He wanted to do something to _forget_.

This wasn't how he wanted to remember. He didn't want to remember this _late_. "Why?" Keith hissed softly. "Why _now_?"

"I don't know." Krolia admitted, looking down to him, at a complete loss. She figured this wouldn't happen, even if she had been hoping and wishing for him to remember. "Do you want to leave? We don't have to tell anyone. Kolivan and I can take you home."

"... yeah." Keith agreed. He didn't want to be here anymore. It _hurt_ too much. Wiping his eyes, he leaned against her before he moved away, trying to compose himself.

"... Okay. I'll go get Kolivan. You stay here." She kissed his head before he moved away, and walked out from behind the wall to find their companion.

Of course... they weren't the only ones to have seen Keith walk away. Lance saw that. And while he was worried, he saw Krolia go after him. He turns his attention to Pidge and Hunk. "Uh... did you guys just see that?"

"... yeah." Pidge worried out loud, her voice soft. "Do you... think he _remembered_?" She wasn't stupid — she _saw_ the way Keith looked at Shiro. It was surprising to her that Shiro had opted to marry someone _else_ ... but she couldn't _blame_ him. What bugged her the _most_ , however, was why Keith forgot _Shiro_.

Why only Shiro? Why _him_?

"It's really weird. Do you think his mind would just block out one person? Out of everyone?" Hunk asked, looking worried himself, and anxiously looking over to the wall Krolia and Keith disappeared behind.

"... I dunno. He looked like he was about to cry." Lance worried, his voice much softer. His face was etched in concern, before he moved to stand up. "I'm gonna go spy. You guys can feel free to come with."

"Well, _duh_." Pidge stood as well, moving to follow Lance as she glanced back to Hunk. "That's been bugging me too." She adjusted her glasses with two fingers. "It feels... _targeted_."

"That's because it probably _is."_ Hunk whispered, following Lance while trailing next to Pidge. "You know how much Shiro means to him. I can't see him just—"

"Will you guys hush?" Lance hissed at them as they approach, making wild gestures with his hands. “Zip your quiznak!” His head peered around the corner, listening in to Keith and Krolia's conversation.

“Rude.” Hunk snapped his mouth shut as he raised an eyebrow at Lance, but leaned in to listen. His face fell into a serious look, crestfallen when he heard the watery way Keith's voice broke out to his mom.

"Oh, man..." He breathed out, grimacing. According to what they saw, Keith _definitely_ remembered, now.

"What do we _do_?" Pidge whispered, glancing to Hunk. Keith was her _bestie_ , but this was a emotional moment that she wasn't sure she should intrude on.

"I don't think there's anything we _can_ do." Hunk said, looking from Pidge, and then to Lance, who's shoulders were completely slumped. Keith was their best friend... they'd been there, hanging out with him all these months. But none of them could take this sort of pain away.

"We could talk to him?" Lance said, looking behind him to the other two with a shrug of his shoulders. "Though I doubt talking to us is the last thing he wants to do."

"Good idea, Lance! Thanks for taking one for the team." Pidge lifted her hand and pressed it against Lance's back, shoving him forward right as Krolia left. She grinned at Hunk and gave a thumbs up, getting an enthusiastic smile and thumbs up in return.

"What— wait, no that's not— Heeey Keith! Buddy, how's it going?" Lance said as he stumbled right up to Keith, a sort of unexpectedly nervous smile on. He'd never really been around Keith when he was all "half galra" on them, and wasn’t like he was scared, he just... didn’t know how to _act._

Keith stood up straight, eyes wary as he stared to Lance, as if _daring_ him to say something about him crying. "How do you _think_ it's going, Lance?"

Lance wasn't going to say anything about him crying. But hearing his tone of voice, Lance's smile quickly depleted, and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh... Not great?" He was really great at this, for sure. Why did he have to open his big, fat mouth? "I... Guess you remember now, huh?"

"Yeah. I remember." Keith said in a curt manner, crossing his arms as he quickly wiped his face again. "What of it?"

Lance wasn't sure what to make of Keith like this. He hadn't been answered this curtly since... a while ago. His whole demeanor fell, and he looked away with a shrug. "We just... Pidge, Hunk and I, I mean. We want you to know that we're here for you... you know. If you need anything. That's all."

"... I'm fine." Keith said in a much softer tone, looking away with a crestfallen face. "There's nothing to be done. As long as he's happy." Shrugging, he put his hands into his pockets and started to walk off. Pidge moved forward to stand beside Lance, at a complete loss. What could they even _do_?

Lance's shoulders fell, watching Keith walk away from them. Then he turned to look at Pidge, and ultimately Hunk, who stood on the other side of him. Lance was at a loss, because while he didn't know Keith amazingly, he just... he didn't know what to do for him. They'd given him time, but they never got any advice for when that time would be used up. They never planned for the after.

"We should... probably get back." Hunk suggested, although he really looked like he wanted to follow Keith — but Krolia was already halfway to the exit with Kolivan, and they were already out the door before anyone could really say anything. "It might get a little suspicious if we all just disappear."

"... yeah." Pidge sighed as she wrapped herself around both of their arms, pulling them back to the wedding party. Luckily, no one else had noticed them gone, and once Shiro caught their eyes, she smiled really wide and waved.

 _"Act like nothing's wrong,"_ She hissed, gritting her teeth as she smiled wide.

Lance and Hunk both shared a look at that, but their smiles instantly brightened when Shiro strode on over, his eyes alight with a peculiar sort of happiness. "Hey guys! Everyone alright?"

"Yeah! Everything's great, Shiro! Wedding's the uh... It's a wedding. A good wedding." Hunk said with enthusiasm, that while Lance admired it... he also had to inwardly facepalm.

"Uh... hah, yeah, it sure is. Everyone's saying the food's really good, so I can't wait for those leftovers." Shiro laughed, though his eyes wander, searching the sea of people. It was obvious who he was searching for, even before he asked. "... where's Keith?"

Pidge _actually_ facepalmed, sighing at Hunk but continuing to cling to his arm. It _was_ a good wedding... but it would be even better if it was _Keith_ that Shiro was with. With a stoic face and a long sigh, Pidge raised her head to stare at Shiro. "... he left."

They couldn't pretend anything wasn't wrong, anymore. Not when Shiro was so straightforward about it. Now it was Lance's turn to give her a look. Way to keep things on the downlow! Shiro would've taken anything, and that would've been fine. But nooo, she had to outright _say_ it.

"He... left?" There was a mixture of hurt and confusion on his face. He couldn't understand why Keith would just... leave. "Did he say why?"

Lance sighed and looked away from all of them. "He remembered, Shiro. He remembered you."

Shiro stood there, shock splaying over his features. He was dumbfounded. Keith _remembered?_ Why did it have to be now? Why tonight, of all nights? Why couldn't it have been _sooner?_ Shiro desperately wanted to go run away now… but he couldn’t. Not with all these people around.

"Hey!" Shiro's husband came at the most _inopportune_ time, sweeping in behind Shiro and hugging him tightly as he kissed him on the cheek. "The food's ready. Are they joining us?" He was a fairly good looking man, with darker skin and hair to match, his eyes crinkling with amusement as he glanced to the Paladins.

Pidge gritted her teeth, smiling again. "Yeah! Things are going to be _just peachy_." Shiro was taken by surprise, tensing in his husband's arms, and only relenting when he realized who it was. He's not sure why, but he was convinced it was someone in the universe that had somehow come to make him pay for hurting Keith. He felt he deserved it, maybe. She stared at Shiro's new husband as her body tensed up, and she sucked in a soft breath. Curtis had been one of Atlas' crew, and she'd noticed more times than not that him and Shiro had been giving eyes to each other the whole time... seeming to completely ignore the way Keith had acted around them.

It was no wonder Keith left.

"Hey," He greeted him with a smile, before he looked back to the other three. He was glad to see Pidge said yes, but... "Lance, Hunk? You guys coming for food?"

"I'll come." Hunk said with a bright smile, obviously wanting to try and diffuse the situation.

"I'm not hungry. You guys go on without me." Lance replied, turning from the group and wandering off, more than likely to find Allura… or to just be alone for a while. Lance seemed to do that more often, these days. Pidge frowned after Lance, sighing as she stared after him, shaking her head in dismay.

"Great! See you later, Lance." Curtis smiled as he waved, then held Shiro's hand for a moment to squeeze it. Curtis' smile was contagious, and Pidge found that she just couldn't _hate_ the guy.

He was as genuine as Shiro was — Shiro couldn't help himself when he smiled back at Curtis, wishing that he didn’t. He had no reason to smile. He didn’t _deserve_ this — not while Keith was hurting. He cleared his throat a little, and squeezed Curtis' hand back in return before he turned from them and began to lead the way. "Better hurry up before all the food's gone. People can be savages."

"Yeah." Curtis beamed at Shiro, hugging him again as he walked beside him in tandem, adjusting his collar. The man looked _happy_ , continually looking at Shiro every few moments. Pidge sighed as she watched them both go, pinching the bridge of her nose. This whole thing was a _wreck_ , but Shiro looked happy. That had to count for something, in her book.

Hunk just _knew_ this was going to be a wreck, but he didn’t say that out loud, due to his good manners. Pidge would know he agreed anyway because of the way he looked away, a grimace pulling at his lips. How was this situation supposed to have a resolution?

Shiro _was_ happy. Happy enough, maybe... but _Keith._ Shiro couldn’t get the man out of his head, knowing now that he _remembered_ him. But why wouldn’t he just... come to him? Why would he just leave if he remembered him? The thought was enough to distract him, but not too much that it would be noticeable to everyone. He gave smiles back to Curtis, even squeezed his hand again just to make his life a little easier in the current moment. He had some idle thoughts, but none of them were voiced.

In reality, he wanted to see Keith, and make sure he was okay… but he supposed that would have to wait until later.

Curtis could read Shiro easily, and tell that he was troubled... but he didn't know _why_. Nonetheless, he ate with his new husband and enjoyed the company, laughing with Pidge and Hunk and even conversing with Allura about the adventures that the Paladins had been on. It would have been perfect... if _Keith_ was there.

It would have meant _everything_ to Shiro if Keith was there. But as the night went on, and they had their fill of laughs with Shiro having quite a few of his own, he realized why he left. Well — why he _thought_ he left, anyway. Maybe it was too much for him — remembering was probably a little overwhelming. He couldn’t blame Keith for wanting to leave if that was the case but... he felt like it was something more, something he wasn’t seeing. Keith would’ve come to him if he remembered and if that remembering was a _good_ thing.

He was stressing himself out over this so much that if his hair weren’t white already, it would start to look that way. He was at an impasse— he didn’t know what to _do._

Before the party was over, he pulled Pidge aside just to talk to her. “Katie, I don’t know what to do. I feel like... you guys know him better now than even I do. I know something’s wrong, but what can I do to help?”

"I think... he just needs time." Katie said softly, eyes darting to the side as she looked for Hunk, feeling trapped. She _couldn't_ ruin this day for Shiro by telling him what was _really_ going on. Wasn't that bad luck, or something? Hunk was of no service. He was too busy talking to Shay about _something,_ but mainly stuffing his face with whatever food his heart desired. Shiro, however, wasn't convinced about Pidge's words. He wanted to do _something,_ he had to—

"Oh! There's Matt. Hey, Matt!" She raised a hand and attempted to flag her brother down, all smiles as she pushed aside her feelings, both physically _and_ mentally.

Annnnd now she was calling over Matt. Great. Shiro's shoulders slumped as Matt walked over, holding a dessert of some kind in his hands. It was probably from one of the other _farther_ planets involved in the coalition, if Shiro had to take a guess.

"What's up, nerds?" Matt said, supplying a helpful grin as he looked to Shiro. "Congrats, by the way, dude. I'm happy for you."

Shiro gave a false smile and stood up a little straighter. "Thanks, Matt. I uh... Have to go speak with some other people, but... happy to see you. Really." He put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed before he walked away rather briskly.

Matt made a face, watching with narrowed eyes as Shiro left, his pupils flickering back to Pidge. "Is there something going on that I should know about? Other than you know, having to ask Shiro to steam the shoulder of my tux later, since he just wrinkled it?"

"I'll tell you later. _Not_ here." Pidge replied, glancing around and noticing that a few people were staring at them curiously. Yeah... that was a good call.

"Anyway. How's it going with your _girlfriend?_ " She gave a Cheshire grin to her brother, fingers dancing together in a maniacal manner.

"Mmmmkay." Matt said as he continued to squint at her, but eased up when he also noticed other guests looking over at them. He waited until they looked away before answering her next question with a sly smile.

"We're doing great, thanks for asking. We'll be heading back out in a few hours to do stuff but tonight we get to spend some time together. Some _quality_ time, being close, and _doing_ things." He nudged his elbow into her before a snicker overtook him. "I'll give you a ride home if you need it. I'm designated driver for tonight!"

Pidge squinted at him, adjusting her glasses again. "First of all, too much information. And _second_ , I don't think it's a good idea to drink at _this_ wedding—"

“Well tell that to mom and dad. They’re already enjoying themselves a _lot.”_ Matt said, turning around and jerking a finger in their parents’ direction. Sure enough, they had drinks half drunk in their hands, and were laughing up a storm. Matt just smiled, amused.

“If you need anything, I’ll be at the farthest table in the back.” He stuck out his tongue and retreated into the crowd.

"Matt, wait—" Pidge watched him go, her shoulders slouching in defeat. He was already gone.

Keith was gone, Hunk was talking to Shay, Lance was flirting with Allura... and every time she looked at Shiro, she saw a deep sadness there that no one else seemed to see. Groaning in frustration, Pidge threw her hands up and went over to the food, stuffing her face. Why did human emotions have to be so _complicated_ ? At least with machines, they were _easy_ to figure out.

Hunk tilted his head when he saw Pidge move over somewhere close. He looked to Shay, and she somehow seemed to understand without him saying a word. Giving him a big hug, she let him go as she moved to rejoin her family.

Sidling up to Pidge, Hunk watched what she was taking, before he very carefully plucked a pastry from her hands. “What’s with the stuffing? Everything getting to you?”

"I'm so _frustrated_." She muttered darkly under her breath, snatching the pastry back and _chomping_ on it. "Instead of trying to _talk_ to Keith, he just ran _away_. And now that _Keith_ remembers, _he_ ran off." She took another bite of her pastry and swallowed angrily, resembling an angry kitten that hadn’t eaten food in days. "Why can't people just _say_ when they like someone?! It would make things so much _easier!_ "

Hunk blinked and _sloooowly_ looked around them at the people that were now looking their way. He quickly looked back to her with a laugh and a pat of her head. "That’s enough for you, Pidge!" He kept laughing as people gave him uncertain looks, then returned back to what they were doing.

He let out a long sigh as he looked to Pidge again, whispering. “Look, I know it’s frustrating. Trust me, I get it, you’re talking to the man of anxiety here. But we can’t... Really do anything. Keith needs time to process this, to cope with this. And Shiro..."

He looked up and over to their friend. He was smiling, but there was a certain look in his eyes that only people who _knew_ him would see. He then looked back to Pidge. “It’s just something they have to work out on their own. We know they’re hopeless but... something’s gotta give eventually.”

Pidge glowered at him with a deadpan stare, unable to help but be pushed along. "You _know_ how I hate not being able to _do_ anything, Hunk."

“I know.” He said, sighing as he scratched his jaw. “There’s just no easy fix for this. They’re being way more difficult than they need to be. There _would_ be something we could do, if it weren’t for the fact that Shiro’s _married_ now.” They could just get them to _talk._ But getting Shiro and Keith to talk would be difficult, especially considering they didn't know what Keith would be like now that he remembered. “Just relax a little. Alright? I think things will be better eventually. Maybe we just need to be supportive and give them time.”

Making an exasperated raspberry, Pidge continued to glower at Hunk, crossing her arms. She knew he was _right_ , but that didn't mean she had to _like_ it.

“Come on. Let’s go sit down with the others for a while, before we gotta go. We’ll figure things out as we go, with them.” He gently patted her back and gestured for her to follow. It was better to just... let things happen naturally. If they get involved, who knows? They could make things worse, somehow.

Nodding, Pidge moved to follow with a sour face, glancing around once more before sitting with Hunk.

  


Keith was curled up in his bed, leaning against the wall as he held his face. He'd been silent for some time, not talking to anyone, musing in his own torrential thoughts. Krolia didn’t know what more she could do to comfort her son. She’d let him be for a while, letting Cosmo go into his room, only to come out with his head hung low. She figured she might as well talk to him.

“Keith?” Krolia asked in a much softer than she ever had used before. She opened the door a crack. “Can I come in?”

Breathing in deeply, Keith let out a long sigh and turned to look at her, blinking slowly before turning away again. He didn't seem to care, but her presence was welcomed.

Krolia only sighed, moving into the room and closing the door behind her. She stepped over to the bed and sat down on the edge, inches away from his body. She reached a hand out hesitantly... before she brought it back in, unsure if he wanted the comfort. “How’re you feeling, sweetheart?”

Seeing her hand move, Keith reached out and took it slowly, holding it gently. "I feel numb right now." He closed his eyes as he moved towards her, leaning her way. "Don't have room for anything else. Everything’s just… numb."

Krolia took the moment for what it was, drawing him in and resting her chin on his head whilst she hugs him close. She ran a hand up and down his back as she listened to him, her eyes trailing downwards. “It might feel that way for a while, baby. I’m sorry that this is how you had to remember... life doesn’t always go the way you hope it will.”

"... I still love him." Keith smiled sadly, breathing in raggedly as he shook. "I shouldn't be sad. He's _happy_..."

“You have every right to be sad, Keith. You don’t have to stop loving him, and just because he’s happy doesn’t mean you can’t be happy too.” She moved away from him, just enough to lift a hand and brush his bangs out of his face. “It breaks my heart to see you like this.”

Staring at the wall through half-lidded eyes, Keith wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. "Thanks, mom."

“Any time, sweetie. I know it’s very hard... but you need to make yourself happy first, and to take care of yourself. Just remember that.” She said, offering the barest hint of a smile before she kissed his head again.

“Kolivan’s thinking of ordering from Sal’s. You want something to eat?” They never got to eat at the wedding, since they had left earlier than most.

"... yeah." Keith leaned against her, his expression still sad despite her kind gestures. "Just... the usual."

“Mm.” She hummed as she leaned back, bringing her hands to his face. Lightly, her thumb traced carefully over the scar on his cheek, and then the other brushed over the smooth skin on the other side.

“Okay. I love you.” She kissed his forehead before she parted from him, standing up and heading out of the room. It hurt her a _lot_ to see her son like this. But Shiro... he’d listened to her. He pursued his own life. She couldn’t be mad at him for that. She knew how much he loved her son.

Unfortunately, her son was just also as helpless as he was.

Sucking in a breath, Keith held it long enough, waiting until Krolia left before he broke down again. He thought things were _fine_ ... until he'd lost his damn _memory_. How could he have forgotten someone so _important_?

Holding his face, he traced the scar over his cheek as he curled up on his bed, tears running silently down his face.

He didn’t move until Krolia returned.

Bringing in two little tables so that they could eat together in peace, Krolia brought the food in to share with him. Kolivan didn’t mind eating outside, and understood that Keith really needed his mother right now. Even Cosmo came in, curling up at Keith’s side and resting his head on his paws. It was kind of adorable, really.

Krolia took this time to try and make her son distracted... At least, for a little while.

Sitting down next to Cosmo, Keith fed him a few bits of his food while he ate, nodding at what his mother said... but not really adding to the conversation.

The time passed by far too fast. Keith remembered none of them, only remembering the menial tasks of eating and drinking, as well as bathroom and shower trips.

A few days went by before Keith just left the Garrison grounds, finding himself in the Black Lion, running across the bare desert just to clear his mind. Nothing else had worked, and his mind was a crackling whirlwind of emotions he wished he could just escape.

He'd turned off his communications channel, not wanting any distractions as he tried to purge his mind.

After some time, there was some static over the comms. As abruptly as it had started, it then stopped, with no sound afterward. Keith blinked as a puzzled expression crept into his eyes, confusion and alarm slowly sinking in—

“Kogane, you know running off like that isn’t the best thing to do, right?” Came a voice from the other end. It was familiar voice that didn’t _talk_ to him that often, but Keith recognized it instantly.

It was James Griffin.

 


End file.
